Jiwa kacau?

Nota – I wrote the below entry way back on 4 December 2011 and kept it ‘private’. Honestly speaking, I cannot remember what was it all about when I wrote it.  Well, I do realize I do not remember much things that happened in the past. I used to said that I have limited access to my memory box, honestly I do.  So this cannot-remember-thatday further endorsed-lah.

The entry seemed too sad though.  Hmmmm, I wish I remember what happened that day or perhaps nothing happened afterall?  Perhaps its just some random writings that I wrote when I am feeling the urge to write? dunno-lah.  But anyways, today I am publishing it merely because of 2 things.

  1. I have blogged for quite some time ay🙂 hehe and how amazing it is that 5 years had passed since this entry was randomly written and almost 10 years passed me blogging.  Wow.
  2. I am 46 this year.  Looking down the road of how-lah my journey would end..

entry

the original entry..

Pernah tak anda rasa sangat hiba dan hanya mahu duduk diam-diam at one quiet corner berseorangan dan menangis dan menangis? Terasa terlalu sensitif dan rasa sangat-sangat sayu dan berkecil hati😦

Tiba-tiba rasa sangat rindukan mak kita dan keluarga kita. Feel like running to where comfort is. Where you can just forget pasal semua masalah dan kesedihan kita itu?

Rasa gagal. Dalam segalanya! Dan airmata menjadi begitu murah. Nanges dan nanges jer…:(

Semua perbualan dan perbincangan hanya mengundang sepi dan air mata?

Hmm.

Otak jadi malas untuk berfikir. You merely lost in your own thoughts. Jasad sahaja di sini, tapi pada waktu itu jiwa melayang entah kemana…

Rasa semua orang tidak peduli dan tidak menyayangi kita? Terasa semua kebaikan dan pengorbanan kita hanya sia-sia? Rasa sungguh teruk kan?

Sigh.

Saya sekarang sedang cuba menyelami rasa itu.. Apa yang paling best untuk dibuat bila jiwa amat tertekan macam tuh ek?

Is it really that bad?? Sangat terukkah rasa itu?

How does it really feel? Hmmmm. Malangnya saya tiada jawapan untuk semua rasa di atas!

Tapi, sedihnya entry ini kan??😀

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