Letter to Sarah & Syaza

Dear Sarah & Syaza,

When both of you were smaller and growing up, you both fought all the time.  Over everything.  From the smallest to the biggest (in your own world of course).

Then, I used to think and prayed in my heart that when both of you are older and wiser, you will end up being good friends instead.  You both are afterall from the same bloodline and siblings till afterlife.  in 2016, Sarah is 15 and Syaza is 13.

When you both were smaller too, I always dressed you both in similar clothing.  Many mistakenly you both as twin.  Well, I kinda like it.  So it continued for quite some time.

jigsaw4

Then time passed. And both of you are teenagers now, Alhamdulillah.

Sarah is quietly looking after you, Syaza.  That I know.  Very often, she would come and tell me with tears in her eyes that you actually melawan cakap dia. hmmm

Why do you think she cried?  Because she cares and loves  you more than anything.  Sarah being her, is the tough one who would keep many things within her.

sarah_syaza_siblings forever

sarah_syaza_2

Hmmm.  Okay now where do I begin😦..

Its not even about both of you, perhaps.  Perhaps its just me.

But both of you are big in my eyes today.  And I hope you both are also growing in terms of thinking and behaviour.

I am not going to live and be here forever.  And I cannot predict the future.  May be one day I be old and senile and what happened last night between us will haunt you both forever😦

so here I am writing, hoping 10 years probably from today, you both would stumble upon this and read.  And at least try to understand.

The matter was indeed too small for us to have that ‘huge’ drama.

But above all, always try to be me.  Who loves you both more than I love myself.  Who only wish for the best in both dunia for you both.  Who only both of you to be the best among the best, to be kind.

I am proud of you both, that’s fact.

Nonetheless, some behaviour when its wrong, it IS wrong.

I have forgiven you both and seek Allah SWT to also forgive me for scolded you both that bad.

Find that 5 minutes in your heart and be me.  Feel that heartbreak, the heartache😦

I am just sad for that brief moment.  Hoping that something else would came out from it😦

Ayah is right, probably I am being too emotional.

I should have let you both to grow up and you both will understand my actions over time.

Well, I am going to end it here for now.

In my heart, you are forever my baby girls and I love you.

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