Remembering mom & childhood…

I had kopi O for breakfast today. And was remembering my mom, her kopi and childhood. Al Fatihah for Arwah Mek! 😦

Being here today at my humble and comfort home with delicious breakfast on the table, kipas di atas kepala agar nyaman, listening to radio that we had in our kitchen that lift the whole ambience, I am so syukur syukur for nikmat dan keselesaan yang Allah SWT berikan.

Back then, at the age of 10, I would always follow arwah to ‘menoreh getah’ and some other kerja kampung that she did – menanam jagung and stuff. Yup, I am never ashamed of who I was before. One kampung girl happily living through her childhood. It was only me and arwah mek. I am the youngest, so the rest have moved on with their life.

My normal day would be – walking to school – cooked my own lunch (my typical lunch will be nasi, ikan rebus goreng and budu), but it had fed me and Alhamdulillah besar pun sampai sekarang 🙂 – kemas rumah and would wait for mek to come back and helped her with her chores.

Yeah I had none memories of holidaying or shopping together with Mek like most of us usually had with our family. Yeah I did not capture tons of photos with Mek that I could upload in some blog or fb…but remembering her and memory with her had lived eternally inside of me. With me. And I love her with all my heart and soul. An eternal love that would bring joy and tears at the same time just thinking about her 😦

In Syaa Allah I will always have her in every doa and solat…

And I missed her 😦 very much!

She is not here with me anymore, to see who had I become 😦 where she and my childhood has brought me now.

My anak-anak tak kenal pun arwah Nenek mereka (my mom) …

But her memories are with us always and I would be repeating the same old stories to my children again and again about her, about how strong she embraced her difficult life without a husband, about raising her five children. About who I was and where I came from.

I had a rough yet memorable and beautiful childhood years! With my Chopper bicycle and all!!, I had swam in sungai, memanjat segala jenis pokok, mencari etok di sungai ! – gosh, I have done them all !!

Poor my kids eh. Balik kampung pun boleh bilang jari jer.

How wonderful would it be if my mom is here today with us. To live comforably with me, berehat dan hanya beramal ibadat. That she does not have to got up at dawn anymore untuk keluar mencari sesuap rezeki for us.

So she could sleep in some Dunlopillo bed and had beautiful dreams 😦 at night.

And she could come and shopping with me. So she could buy anything at all that she never had before 😦

*crying* 😦 …

Allah SWT had better plans, for both of us, I had faith!

Mudahan Allah SWT mengasihi Mek sepertimana dia mengasihi aku dan anak-anaknya yang lain.  Ya Allah, ampunkan segala dosa-dosa arwah Ibuku, Allayarhamah Lijah bt Awang.

Ya Allah, aku pohon agar semua solat Mek, sedekah dan amalan baik Mek, diterima oleh Allah SWT. Mudahan Mek mendapat syafaat Nabi Muhammad SWT and dilapangkan kubur Mek hingga Hari Pembalasan, amin amin Ya Rob!!

Ya Allah, I missed her each day that passed and with each breath that I took.. 😦

And miss her nasi goreng budu too.. sigh.

Razin today

Razin as at tonight.

20120422-202609.jpg

My poor boy, not being able to comprehend why or how on earth mukanya boleh ‘dijahit’? Hehe.

All healthy and being his usual hyper self today, he has been ‘showing off’ his stiches to almost everyone who asked why got bandage on his forehead 😀

We went to Alamanda for lunch right after errands at Immigration and he has been bragging about how heroic he was with that stich on his forehead. Hehe

Dekat 7-Eleven tadi, member siap acah-acahkan kakak kaunter yang ngeri tengok luka dia. Chewah eksen ek. Apa-apapun, Ibu syukur sangat-sangat now that you are all OK sayang.

InsyaAllah Ibu hendak berpuasa nazar esok. And when I seek my betterhalf just now for his permission to puasa, my Razin Hafizi was asking, “Ibu puasa apa?”.

So I told him, “Ibu berpuasa nazar sayang and Ibu wishes to fulfil my promise with ALLAH SWT and to return my syukur and gratitute to Him, The Almighty kerana Ajin telah selamat dan sihat dari segala kesakitan. Kerana ini sajalah yang mampu Ibu buat pada masa ini” 🙂

Apapun, we have our follow up appointment tomorrow with Mr Doctor and InsyaAllah, semua will be a ok!

Dari kamar hati Ibu…

The clock is ticking at 11.30 pm. I am right now on bed, lazing and passionately watching my youngest boy, Razin who is soundly into his beautiful sleep. I kissed him and kissed him endlessly…. Rasa tak akan pernah puas aku mencium anak kecil ini.

Aku bersalawat dan bersalawat dan ku hembuskan ke ubun-ubun rambutnya berkali-kali. Aku panjatkan rasa syukur yang maha tidak terhingga dengan keselamatan dan kesejahteraan ALLAH SWT datangkan kepada kami hari ini bersama-sama dengan ujian dariNya..

Razin Hafizi petang tadi at about 330 pm di Sunway Hospital…

20120420-232823.jpg

Ya Allah, sebagai ibu, doa ku kepadaMu sentiasa agar anak-anakku dilindungiMu sentiasa. Agar Kau hindarkan anak-anakku dari segala kejadian buruk, dari semua kesakitan dan kepayahan dan semua jua musibah..

Alhamdulillah rupa-rupanya doa ku selama ini, Kau dengari Ya Allah 😦 …

Maka hari ini, walaupun anakanda tercinta, Razin ditimpa kemalangan kecil, jatuh di bilik air dan terluka dengan luka 2 inch deep cut, tapi Kau kabulkan juga doa-doaku Ya Allah, Kau lindungi anak-anakku dari segala penyakit dan mala petaka Ya Allah 😦

Makanya, Kau gerakkan hatiku untuk mengambil cuti pada hari ini. Ya Allah Ya Rahman !, Kau telah terlebih dahulu memastikan aku dekat dengan anakanda Razin agar aku dapat segera membawanya ke hospital…

Ya Allah, Kau telah permudahkan dan mensejahterakan perjalananku ke hospital siang tadi dalam keadaan hujan yang sungguh lebat..

Kau lapangkan adikku Awa dari segala urusannya untuk datang membantu di kala aku goyah dan panik.

Kau kurniakan aku satu ketenangan dalam kekalutan menghadapi keadaan Razin yang berlumuran darah dan menangis kesakitan …

Kau percepatkan semua urusan x-ray, bius dan stitches di hospital tadi.

Kau datangkan seorang doktor dan nurse-nurse yang sungguh baik dan lembut menenangkan gundah hati ku.. 😦

Ya Allah, ampunkan aku 😦 …

Berikan aku nur Mu Ya Allah, agar kejadian pada hari ini akan meningkatkan lagi rasa Iman dan Taqwa-ku hanya kepadaMu, Ya Allah!!

Ya Allah, bersujud syukur aku kepadaMu Ya Allah kerana Kau datangkan aku ujian ini, rupa-rupanya supaya aku bersabar dalam menghambat pahala-pahala Mu yang banyak itu.

To anakanda Razin, who now soundly asleep, Ibu titipkan doa Ibu agar Razin dan semua anak-anak Ibu akan terus sentiasa dilindungi ALLAH SWT sampai Jannah!!

20120420-234121.jpg

(Note that rambut tetap spikey hokay :D)

Wassalam and rest well all. It has been a very longgggg day!

Ajin sudah sihat…

Azan subuh sayup memanggil di pagi yang hening dan nyaman di hari minggu….Alhamdulillah.

Syukur malam tadi kami tidur lena. Malam sebelumnya, semalaman tidur diusik dengan rengekan anakanda Ajin Piji. He had fever due to an injection. Kesian anak Ibu..

On Friday, he had the BCG injection in his school. Both right and left arm. Yang belah kanan tuh ada slight swelling and painful, katanya hingga membawa demam.

Setelah dituamkan dengan warm towel, and 3 rounds of paracetamol, the swelling was better and last night we both managed to sleep through the night 😀

Alhamdulillah. Allah SWT sayangkan kita sayang. Maka diuji dengan sakit yang cuma sedikit ini…

Tetapi being Ajin Piji, yang kononnya sungguh perkasa ala ala Optimus Prime tapi manjanya yang mengalahkan seorang tuan puteri, melepek lah kami berdua seharian semalam, sponging and pok pok kan dia..

His apetite for food was poor and we end up at Mc D, Jaya Jusco and My Maidin for few rounds trying to make him into eating or drinking something.

Hati seorang ibu bila anak-anak tidak sihat atau demam, hanya naluri seorang ibu yang paham kan?

But today at Subuh, he is soundly into his beauty sleep with no temp. Alhamdulillah syukur!

So, Jaya Jusco again today ok sayang. I promised him toys and games should he fought this fever 🙂

Ok lets go then. Ibu tersangat senang hati sebab Ajin sayang Ibu sudah sihat…

Apa pun, jom solat subuh dulu? 😀

Perihal manusia

There is this saying, “Rambut sama hitam, tapi hati lain-lain”. What does it mean? It means, we may physically (rambut) look the same (rambut selalunya hitam), tetapi punya rasa dan perasaan yang berbeza. Betul??

Well saya kata, tak betul!

Saya kata, “Rambut pun sudah pelbagai warna dan colouring, hati dok soh cerita ler…” 🙂 Betul??

Hah! Itu baru betul!

Pengalaman hidup mengajar saya that sifatnya kita sebagai manusia biasa, bila kita berjanji, kita mungkiri. Bila berkata, kita dustai. And the list goes on and on..

Pengalaman hidup juga mengajar saya, agar berhati-hati bila menutur kata, takut ada hati yang terluka dan menjeruk rasa.

Dan kebarangkali-an yang amat dahsyat, rupa-rupanya, kawan kita yang makan sepinggan dengan kita. Yang tidur sebantal atau sebilik dengan kita, boleh menikam kita dari belakang dengan maha hebat sekali 🙂

Tetapi saya bersyukur sangat-sangat Alhamdulillah, Allah SWT in time has bestows me and InsyaALLAH you also His Nur and may Allah SWT increase His blessings upon us, dan memberi kita rasa sabar. Ya hati pedih. Ya saya menangis. And yes, I had my tantrums. Tapi ianya hanya berakhir di situ sahaja. Just me and Him…

Dan hidup masih diteruskan seperti biasa.

Benar bila kita bersangka baik dengan diri sendiri, keluarga dan sahabat kita, jiwa akan lebih girang dan tenang 😀

Luka sangat cepat sembuh dan tiada berbekas dendam di hati. Instead, sincerely, my never ending doa to us all, that – agar kita tidak akan pernah lupa rumput hijau yang kita pijak, setiap kali kita leka mendongak ke langit.

Mudah-mudahan saya dan kamu diberi kesempatan untuk memohon maaf, bertaubat dan menebus segala dosa.

Hari ini mungkin hari kita dan kita happy with families and friends kita.

But esok lusa, tahukah kita di mana kiblat kita??

Wallahualam!!

Kepada jiwa-jiwa yang malam ini terguris perasaannya, solat Isya’ sebelum tidur dan berehat banyak-banyak ok.

InsyaALLAH, tomorrow will be a new day. A better day 😀 …

Cerita hujung minggu

Penat sungguh sehari-dua nih, both at workplace and home.

Sometimes I wonder how long could my body cope with this arrangement and schedules.

I had recovered from demam+cough+flu hari tuh, Alhamdulillah and back to work routine on Monday.

Terus turun Johor tengok spa the next day, Tuesday.

Then, work work work.

Meeting meeting meeting.

Came Thursday kelmarin, my untie and uncle from Singapore came. Friday semalam, Good Friday rupanya, so it was a public holiday in Singapore…. Patut la.

Last night, my BIL and his family came for dinner. They wanted to congratulate Miza in person on her recent SPM achievement, Alhamdulillah.

Berkepuk-kepuk ‘congratulations’ tuh eh B? 😀

Adik-adik were nosy and menyibuk bagi pelbagai komen. Hehe jealous lah tuh.

Hah apa lagi, belajar lah bersungguh-sungguh. There is no short-cut to every success hokay my darlings? 🙂

Then, malam tadi jugak, whey my BIL and anak-anak left, we brought the Singaporeans to uptown Danau Kota and balik rumah pukul 4 pagii!!

As I am writing this now, ruang tamu rumah kita yang cinonit nih penuh dengan insan-insan yang sedang berdengkur tidur melayan penat yang belum hilang. Qada tidur malam tadi. Hiks

I guess, penat or no penat, I am so syukur for still being alive and breathing and able to be around with my loved ones!!

Jom gi carik goreng pisang panass? Nyums!

April 2012 & Along

April in 2012.

Four months had passed in 2012. Super fast!

And it has been quite a year to start with. My Angsana Spa Nusajaya has officially opened its door today, Alhamdulillah. My manager sent us an emotional email last night to remind us of our hardwork, sweat, team work, emotions and tears that had paid off!! Bravo team!

So, if any of you happens to be in Johore, come and feel Angsana Spa Nusajaya! Please visit us at http://www.theledang.com for details, promotions and directions.

Closer to home, life goes on as usual. Along is busy with her applications to pursue her university years. Wow dah besar anak dara Ibu. *proud*

Spare us your doa for her success. May ALLAH SWT bestows Along Barakah to pursue her dreams, InsyaALLAH!

Along also yesterday had received her first paycheck 🙂 ! As for the past month, Along actually has been working and was doing cashering-ushering work at her aunt’s bakery that recently opened in our neighbourhood..

Promo sket – if you happen to be in our area, datanglah singgah @ DiBonda Bakery. They bakes an awesome varieties of cakes, muffins and breads. They smells nice too. Nyums ! 🙂

Along came back home happy yesterday with the first RM. hehe

I was overwhelmed with tears and proudness as she gave some of her fist gaji to me and her ayah 😦 *proud again*

Thank you B. May ALLAH gives you more in return, InsyaALLAH…

She also insisted nak belanja all of us makan with her first pay. So, lets go!

20120401-083812.jpg

20120401-083837.jpg

20120401-083900.jpg

20120401-083919.jpg

Burpp Alhamdulillah!

🙂 walaupun the ending part tuh, ehem Ayah yang bayar (hehe), tetapi berniat baik itu yang tiada golok gantinya, kan?

Thank you Along. Thank you Ayah 🙂