My blind side

Sudah berkali-kali kami dua orang lalu menda yang sama.  Too many of a similar dance.

I was sure that I did my best and did not fret about it. That my consciense was crystal clear. I knew what I was doing . I chose only the best words and was trying hard. I was in my best behaviour and meant only well, yet I still failed? Not once but many ?

Is there something that I did or said? Or did not do or say perhaps that had caused the empty spots instead?  May be that it was never meant to be at the first place?

I have been in this awkward moment too many of a time… And when Im all low and lost, and realized  these blank spots, I wondered to myself what actually went wrong?

At which juncture that I missed to see or failed to say that could have made it work ?

You…

Yes please you…please enlighten me with this one. I need to know what I had missed and now experiencing these blind sides.

It is deliberating and it is breaking my heart.  Everytime. 

Everytime when we go through that same very thing again and again, I still did not know what went wrong !..  But I know in my wishful thinking is that, I have had always meant well.

If only you knew that it has always be for the well being of you. I wish you’d knew that in this big heart of mine, everything that I did or do, or that I did not do or does – it has always been about you.

I do know that every proud man crossed many hath but I do not want to be proud.

I just want you to be happy. And that whatever your heart desires will one day come true…

With every single breath that I take, I faithfully count my blessing and my prayers is that you do too darling and may Allah SWT spares all each and every bit of happiness for you forever.

I am truly sorry about tonite if I break your heart and hopes😦 but your tomorrow is both our sunshine and I love you more than anything!  Even death could never take this feeling away from me.

But at the end, I will never give up on you. Sampai mati. Take that.

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