Room 271, SJMC

Salam.

Its 12.40 am as I am pouring this from room 271, SJMC. My 5 year old boy was rushed here on Saturday evening due to hi fever and fit.

There is never a single word or feeling to describe how I exactly feel right now as I sat here on the bed watching him sleeping soundly. Kasih Ibu membawa ke syurga…. may be this is the closest I can say, right this very second…

But as long as Im breathing this air that Allah SWT spares me, my whole life resolves around them. They are tatooed in my mind and soul, unconditionally always and forever, InsyaAllah. They are my everything.

As all of us has purpose living this life, while mothers and mine definitely is my family.  And again as a mother, until the day I return to my creator, my children rules the major part of my doa. I prayed for their well being all the time, endlessly.

On that unfortunate Saturday, as Razin was having fever from the earlier part of the day. I was never an inch away from him, sponging and monitoring.  I prayed and I worried for him. 

Allah Maha Mengetahui as the temperature must have risen and he had a fit.  And being in that brief, yet haunting and traumatic situation is like the longest 10 minutes of my life. Rasanya hanya Allah SWT sahaja yang tahu dan faham. Astaghfirullahalazim. Dengan ujian sebesar itu rupanya mahu menyedarkan Hani dengan pelbagai perkara. Wallahualam.

My boy is all ok now and will making our way to home sweet home esok. Alhamdulillah.

Syukur dan terima kasih untuk kesemua yang menziarah dan dengan dua’ dan ucap selamat for my son and family. Hani panjatkan kesyukuran untuk anda semua!

To my son, when you are all grown up and happen to read this – Ibu akan bergalang ganti nyawa Ibu for your pain, anytime. Mudahan Ajin membesar menjadi anak yang sihat dan soleh. Amin Ya Rabal Alamin.

I love you very much.

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I uploaded some gambar later. For both me and beloved Ajin to one day recalled our tramautic moments that we both do not want to go through again, InsyaAllah. Ever.

As we checked in @ SJMC.  Still with his usual chirpy look. Walhal less than an hour before, Ibu macam tercabut nyawa riso.

Few minutes on his hospital bed for the very first time.  He kinda like the whole experience. Cam dok hotel katanya.

Kak Aja refused to leave him even for a sec and stayed with us in the hospital for two days. Poor gurl.

Ajin akhirnya changed into his hospital gown. Bangga giler ada wayar cucuk-cucuk.

On the day that we checked out. Our happy day. Alhamdulillah.

s.t.r.e.s.s

s.t.r.e.s.s 

Even my five year old says the evil-ed word on a daily basis as if he knows what it means.

But what is s.t.r.e.s.s  actually?

I googled and this is what web says –  We can define stress as a normal physiological response of the body to situations or stimulus which are perceived as ‘dangerous’ to the body. Stress can affect anyone and everyone at some point of time in their life. When it occurs frequently it affects health – both physical and mental.

Understanding Stress

Human body is a complex organization of various tissues and each Thesystem of it should function properly and in a coordinated way. Moreover it has to function within the physiological limits which are very restricted and narrow (see Table: 1).Technically this team work is called ‘Milieu Interior or Internal Homeostasis’.

Table 1: Physiological range of certain blood parameters

  Analysis Reference Range
1. pH 7.36 – 7.45
2. Bicarbonate 21 – 27.5 m mol / l
3. Oxygen saturation Normally > 97%
4. Glucose 3.6 – 6.8 m mol / l

The normal physiological range of a few blood parameters is given above. It is just to show how narrow the physiological limits are. The body has to function within this narrow limits maintaining Internal Homeostasis.

The human body is exposed everyday to different person, species, situations and stimuli. Some of the exposures are rewarding and certain others are hazardous. If the exposure is hazardous then the body prepares itself to face the situation – the reason being its ‘Internal Homeostasis’and hence its normal functioning should not be affected. This response is called the Fight or Flight response. This response is to make persons cope with the situation successfully.

Physiology of Stress

When a person is exposed to a ‘dangerous’ situation his body gets ready to face it. It needs more energy for that. The extra energy is got by the ‘Fight or Flight’ response. The initial step is taken by the Hypothalamus of the brain which secretes Adrenocorticotrophic releasing Hormone ARH). ARH stimulates the adjacent pituitary gland to secrete Adrenocorticotrophic hormone (ACTH). This in turn stimulates the adrenal glands which are situated on the kidneys to secrete Adrenaline and Cortisol.

Now these two hormones work together to see that the body gets more energy by providing more oxygen and glucose. For these things to occur, the following adjustments are done.

  • Diversion of the blood from less vital to more vital organs.
  • Increase in the heart rate to supply more blood quickly.
  • Increase in the blood pressure to supply blood efficiently.
  • Increase in the respiratory rate to get more oxygen from the atmosphere.
  • Breakdown of glycogen stores in liver and muscle to get more glucose.
  • Formation of more glucose from non carbohydrate substances.

So at the end of the response, the body is well geared up and it tackles the situation. To put it in a nut shell -“The mind feels the danger and the body tackles it. These actions are coordinated by hormones”.

Once the trigger is gone the hormonal levels drops and the body returns to normal. But if this happens repeatedly, then all the hormonal levels are persistently high not allowing the body to come back to normal .The body keeps experiencing the above mentioned ‘adjustments’. Soon the hormonal and energy stores get exhausted. The vital link between the mind and the body is lost and the person suffers. The mind gets disturbed by the fact that the threat is there. But the body is too tired to handle it. The coordination between the two is disturbed.

Causes of Stress

Stress is a normal physiological phenomenon. So ‘Undue or Unrelieved Stress’ is the right term when we discuss about the pathological aspects of stress. ‘Undue or Unrelieved Stress’ can occur in any person in whom the normal ‘Fight or Flight’ response is overdone. It can occur as a short term response, delayed response or a prolonged response.

Short Term Response or Acute Stress

Acute stress is the normal physiological ‘Fight or flight response’. The effects will be present only till the person is exposed to transient trigger. The trigger could be

  • Hunger
  • A narrow miss of an accident
  • A competitive exam
  • A job interview
  • A short lived illness
Delayed Response

This is a separate entity. It is also called ‘Post traumatic stress disorder’. It is caused by exceptionally stressful conditions in which the person feels helpless, like

  • Natural calamities
  • Rape
  • Death of beloved ones
Prolonged Response or Chronic Stress

We define stress due to a prolonged response as chronic stress when the trigger is persistent or repetitive not allowing the body to come back to normal by keeping the stress hormones at the higher level. The persistent stressors could be any one of the following.

  • Workplace stress
  • Stress at home
  • Financial stress

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Oh dear Hani, why this crap today?? hmm. Well, I got my blood result yesterday and Alhamdulillah it was an ‘A’ result. In fact, it was excellent.  Nothing unsual. Syukur syukur syukur to Allah SWT.

Thing is – doctor said I might be under some life stress. 

Itu yang menulis panjang lebar kat atas tuh because I am trying to profile my health. There are things on my mind, the usual ones but none is in a worrying state sampai I need to drain my health thinking about it. Hell NO.  Big No.

I like to think that I have been blessed with so much joy and happiness in my life. My family mostly. They are the joy of life forever and always. I super loving them and in return, I got as much love that I need. Melimpah ruah rasanya. Alhamdulillah.

Probably its work? Hmm.. my boss is the greatest boss anyone could ask for. Colleagues – super sporting tak hengat.

Money?  well, I got bills to pay but manageable. Im happy with what I had. What I wear and what I eat, alhamdulillah.

What else then?? may be Allah is merely testing and reminding.  Because He loves me, thats for sure… 🙂

Ok, lets go and have brunch eh Hani??  *mode* very happy. Alhamdulillah.

Im not well

As I am writing this, im under my thick duvet wearing a thick sock, feeling awful and tired with eyes wide open! The clock on my wall just striked 3 am…My body is aching. Im having stomach discomfort and my appetite for anything called food is zero 😦

What Im trying to say is that Im actually not well. Sigh. Less than an hour ago my hubby said this – u need to take it easy…

Thing is, take what easy?? I felt concern. For myself of course.

I have not done any thorough health screening for the longest time but had taken blood test on Tuesday last when doctor insisted due to some ‘signs’ that I have? And now anxiously waiting for the health verdict. Penantian itu memang painful – confirm!!

Anyway, what a year to start with huh??

Dear Allah, please spare me mercy 😦  …