Okay where do I begin with this.
Perhaps I begin this with my son, Razin. My bibik a.k.a Laila or ‘Mak Razin’ has left us for her home. For good it is. She has been with us for three solid years and has become our family. At times, I am more bibik then her.
Actually she balik for good from last Sunday. Been trying to find strength to write about it coz usually I had this tiny tears in my eyes everytime I tried to talk about it. Like always, I tried to remain cool and not to talk about it, till this morning it is.
Like honest, I am coping okay-lah with house chores. Nothing new afterall. But the separation between my youngest boy, Razin and his bibik torn my heart to pieces. At such tender age, I am sure he missed her like tremendously but simply does not how to put it to words. At times, perhaps it is just in my eyes – he does look a bit lost without his bibik. He has been with his bibik from the early days of his life.
Ever since she left, my two younger ones are under their Mak Su’s care. Thing is, Razin is okay for the past few days but this morning, he cried when I wanted to leave him at Mak Su’s. Even I know, he would definitely cried for the first 5 minutes only, but it breaks my heart to see him like that 😦
I tried to remain calm (as always), do not want to worry anybody, but as I am writing this, I had tears again in my eyes and heart and wish all these happened in a different time and manner.
I am aware life resumes, but I m still sad. Hence, I thanked my sis and hubby especially for doing this for me, my boss and colleagues and of course, my dearest friends who have always been there, with a helping hand and encouraging words and support.
Perhaps I will talk about this again, when I am not feeling this sad.. 😦
To Laila (even I know she will never read this – Hanya Allah SWT yang mampu membalas segala jasa sepanjang bersama-sama, tru happiness and tears especially caring for my Razin Hafizi like your very own. I miss you and what more the kids..)